Leigh,
Ditto to Peggy on not settling for less than what you wanted. We are adoptive parents in a fully open integrated adoption (in our lives off board, there is no distinction between 'birth' and 'adoptive' relatives, they're all equal). Everyone, including our agency who is very pro-open-adoption told us that it was highly unlikely we'd find birth parents interested in this much openness. That's what they told Ryan's bfamily too.
So stick to what you want, get an attorney to represent you (most will do this without fee), talk to tons of agencies, just don't settle, OK?
I think everyone on this board (at least I hope so) is well intentioned in their posts, and do not mean to cause you pain for pain's sake. We're all at different places on our journey, and want to share with others what we've learned. That's all.
Hang in there, and stick to your guns when selecting potential adoptive parents. Never ever let anyone bully or pressure you into doing something you don't want, that's where regret hides.
Regina