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Our son was extremely well prepared for coming to America. We were able to call him every other week and talk to him on the telephone. And, the orphanage he was in was set up specifically to teach the children about life in America--as well as a group of adults who have never been to America could do anyway.
I expected lots of transitional issues with him. Heck, I worried about things so basic as whether he'd be willing to eat our food. In fact, I remembered quite clearly that when my own sister came home from Ethiopia at 3, she struggled with eating our food. Her first 3 months home, all she would actually eat was tortillas because it was similiar to the bread from Ethiopia.
What happened was that in *most* things, our son didn't struggle. He ate everything placed in front of him from the get-go. In fact, we had tasting parties of all the condiments in the fridge so he could decide what he liked and didn't like (likes ketchup and ranch dressing). He struggled mightily with our consumerism. The first time he was allowed to pick a toy at Walmart for himself, he took 2 HOURS in the toy isle trying to decide. The first time at Sam's club, it was like he was smoking something he was SO hyper and spazzed out. Once, I had to throw a coat over his head while he shook and cried just to get him out of Walmart (he walked past 3 stacked racks of bikes and the idea that the item he covetted so badly could be there in such abundance was just too much for him).
But, overall, the cultural issues were not nearly as hard for him as I thought. He acclimated very quickly to the US. And, now he prefers most things American. He does speak of his homeland, and he has found memories. He misses the warmth. He misses monkeys. But, the last time I served him groundnut stew (a speciality from his homeland), he refused to eat he. He likes to sniff it, but wouldn't eat it.
Definitely, I think that cultural issues are something which we need to remember and consider. But, I also think that with some love and sensitivity, we parents can ease a child's transition to the US to help them adapt and still feel safe AND honoring their birth culture.
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