[DeNaJa]

When we adopted our daughter, we would get a VERY upsetting and frustrating response by some. We have 2 bio-kids and they would ask how it was that we could adopt our daughter when we already had our"own kids" and so many other couples have been lanquishing away on a list somewhere waiting for the chance to adopt...don't we think we should give her to one of those poor couples? Um, NO. She is our DAUGHTER not our dog! We fell in love with her before she was even born. Her birth mother asked us to raise the baby. What, if you give birth you are not allowed to adopt? I think the problem is that we got her as an infant and it seems EVERYONE knows someone who is trying to adopt and many wnat an infant and have been waiting for an infant and we "magically" got one. They seem to think it is some how wrong and we didn't "pay our dues" by waiting and besides, we have bio kids so we are some how exempt from being able to adopt an infant...and older shild maybe, but not an infant...infants are suppose to go to infertile couples. As upsetting as these comments are, I know they just do not understand the specifics of our adoption. I would love help with a good comeback for this one! I don't get it so much anymore now that she is no longer and infant, but I am sure I am not the only one who has heard such ridiculous comments.

Oh, and does anyone have a comeback for those who think they need to tell you adoption horror stories the second they hear you are an aparent...as if you need more to worry about? I get the "I read this article about how a family had a baby since birth and when he was almost 4 years old, some judge gave him back to his real mother! Aren't you afraid this will happen to you? Are you sure she won't come back and want the baby?" OR "I have a friend who adopted a baby and now the kid is teenager and is struggling and asking a lot of questions and it is very hard. Her son is acting out a lot! How are you going to deal with it when she starts asking about her real dad or wants to meet her real family?" Um, well, my child is NOT a teen yet and teens tend to act out REGARDLESS, but I digress. My child is still a baby and I have plenty of time to sort out how I will handle different issues based on her own personality. We are open about the adoption and will continue to be and to answer questions as they come. We also want to get involved with other parents who have adopted so that our daughter knows other adopted children. I think I will worry more about this when she is actually VERBAL! LOL!!! Right now she wants to eat, play, cuddle and have clean pants! Issues of adoption are not even on the radar!