[crick]

I agree with Michelle. For now, I think your contact should be limited to letters and picture updates. However it happened and the sadness of it all doesn't erase the fact that you are going to be her forever mom. And since that's a fact, your daughter needs to be able to really bond and attach with you without the firstmom physically there. Sounds harsh as I type this, and I'm not trying to be insensitive to her firstmom at all. However, if your daughter is to have a chance at healing, attachment etc., she needs to be with just you right now. I'm sure it's completely confusing to her and very frustrating.

And, I think that her firstmom might not be in a place where she can handle visits right now either. She too, needs the time to grieve.

I would assure her that you are not closing the door, but just stepping back a bit so that she can heal and daughter can heal.

crick