[angelesther]

i think that the feeling is somewhat the same in searching for any birthfamily. i have leads on my maternal grandmother but i am not sure if i want to pursue them. i am not sure how much my birth mother told her family and i really dont want to show up and say "hey, im the baby that she never told you she had" i think that that could cause a lot of damage and that is somthing that i am not willing to do. my greatest wish is to know her but my fear of disrupting her life is holding me back. if i was in her shoes i would not have keept it a secret, but if she has then i am not sure how to pursue it. i could not risk hurting her just to satisfy my longing to know her.