[antifloyd]

Originally Posted by AnaColombia

I find it extremly hard to talk to my parents about anything to do with adoption, however now that I am 20 and adult I'm embracing the fact that I'm adopted and educating myself with adoption literature and Colombian history/culutre. I feel bad though because I'm really close with my adoptive mother and I don't want to hurt her. But I'm also angry that they kind of made the fact that we were adopted an unspoken secret after a certain point in my life. And whenever I bring up adoption with them it seems like they grimace & they're hurt. Its so frustrating being adopted.

How sad for both of you that your amom can't share your excitement at exploring your cultural history. I think some people (especially here in America where we are often so mixed up with many cultural histories!) just don't find that sort of thing important. Perhaps your aparents are just such people.
If you feel it is important to you to learn about these things, by all means keep doing so!
It's always hard for me to understand why aparents often seem to be threatened by this sort of thing ... you don't mention looking for your birthparents, but I wonder if that's one reason why your aparents aren't comfortable with you researching your heritage.