[DeNaJa]

In the year and a half since we adopted our daughter, we have gotten odd questions and side comments too. We have 2 bio kids. My bio and adopted daughters are 6 months apart. I of course get "are they twins"...but one is a pale, blue eyed blond and the other a richer toned, green eyed wavy brunette! Then they correct themselves "oh no, they can't be twins! Are they both yours?" Many people think I just am babysititng and hauling someone elses kids around to the grocery store! LOL! I jsut say, "Yes, they are all mine." Then when they ask their ages, I tell them and watch them do the math. Some struggle with DYING to ask how they can be 6 month apart (I tell them I have Magical Powers and smile) or they cannot stand it and have to ask! This is kinda fun. I am open and honest because I don't think most people are trying to be offensive, they just are curious and don't know how to word things. Many have not had this situation come up so they don't know how to phrase things in a non-offensive way. I think it helps to lovingly correct their terminology so they don't go on to insult others. My husband was asked rudely "why would you wnat to go and adopt all those kids?!?" I am amazed he didn't lose it! She, a total stranger, asked this loudly in front of a room full of total strangers. RUDE! He totld a little of our story and made her look heartless and the crowd was giving ehr the evil eye by the end of the story and congratulating him on his beautiful daughter! My DH and I are caucasion as are our bio kids (duh), but our youngest is bi-racial...she is very light however and no one suspects it. However, we do have some relatives and friends who do know and they often bring it up with comments that rub me COMPLETELY the wrong way...like EVERYTIME they see her, they comment on her coloring! How light she is, how she doesn't lokk bi-racial, how no one can really tell, or she seems to have gotten darker, bi-racial people are the prettiest people....just look at Halle Berry, are you going to tell her she is bi-racial, gee, you can't tell she is half-black! etc... It is sooooooo infuritating that they make this such an issue! We could care less about her race. I have a hodge podge in my heritage as does my DH and all our kids. Who cares!?! I don't want people talking about this to her or around her making her think she has something wrong with her or that she is odd in some way...particularly since she is just a baby and doesn't understand what is happening. And my oldest may catch on and I don't think it is anyone eleses place to discuss my children that way...we have not even discussed it with them becuase they are too young. Why can't they just say she is a beautiful baby...not a "beautiful for a half-black baby"! We knew she was bi-racial before her birth. We didn't care. She could be the lightest or the darkest...it just doesn't matter! Most of the people who talk like this are outdated in their feelings towards different races anyway...but they are fast learning to keep their opinions on that subject to themselves around ME...the Mama Bear!

I think it is fun to ge the "she looks just like her daddy!" comments! I ususally answer "yes she does, doesn't she! I get that all the time!" This week I got, for the 1st time, "she looks just like you!" I thanked the woman with a smile.