[HappyMomAnna]

Domestic violence charges are big red flags.... AND even if EVERYTHING in your life is perfect now and there is no reason to be worried on your part---The System (Police--corts--DHS) HAS SEEN this a million times and you as the victim will be seen with tainted eyes as victims usually don't know what the best choice really is....

There is a lot of Domestic violence research and there are cycles, and patterns and You will not be able to convince anyone that you are not suffering from Battered-Wife Syndrome..

The problem with even trying to have them reversed--is that nearly EVERY WIFE says the same thing..... He is NOT really Abusive! And there is a ton of research that indicates that often there are issues that come up and the couple can reunite and go on for years before the cycle swings back around and violence occurs again.

Your husband would not have a charge if he did not actually touch you in some way... They do not charge for verbal problems or threats...or arguments. They only arrest and charge when it is very clear his hands touched you in a way that was violent.... Either he admitted it or they saw evidence of it. Otherwise they would have left your home and not arrested him.

Asking for the charges to be dropped will actually make you "LOOK LIKE" a battered wife to the legal system because this is the usual way battered wives feel...

So HOW can you recover from this to a point where you might be able to be Foster Parents?

It will not be easy because the NUMBER one reason a person cannot be foster parents is to have ANY history of any abuse toward any other person.... AT ALL...

Have you had Counseling? Did your husband have to attend Anger Management classes? DID he do that and finish...?

The only real possible way to recover from this is to have SOLID counseling and PROVE that he was treated and is no longer an abusive person... Even then it could still not be enough for the STATE to consider the risk acceptable.

The state cannot risk placing hurt children in homes with ANYONE who has ever hit--kicked--or treated another person in a violent way....

One slap in anger is ABUSE. One kick in the butt while you are cooking dinner is ABUSE... The domestic abuse cycle is LONG Abusers can be good for three years and then lose it again.... My abuser made it five years from first arrest to the second slap in my face and another 3 years before he beat me half to death.

I am NOT SAYING YOUR HUSBAND is an ABUSER--I am saying that these issues come up all the time and all the other cases before you set the standards.... Prove the cycle and indicate what the warning signs and progressions are...

When we continue a relationship with someone who has been charged with Abuse then the whole world assumes we are hurt and battered and not thinking clearly enough..to know the difference anymore....Most of the time this is true! Only once in a rare while is it not--and usually when we think we are one of the lucky ones who are not abused--that our husbands really didn't mean it--that they really do love us--that this is not the way they really are--then we find out different later....

That's the problem.

The only way that it might be possible is with Therapy and a good deal of it... Then maybe DHS would review and accept the recommendation of the therapist...

You say it was just an argument--and you reacted by calling the police--now you think you over reacted.... They all say this....that is why you will not get the charges removed....

Question is what EXACTLY was it that caused the police to arrest him and Have you both been to counseling?