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Well I wanted to update on the goodbye visit. In a nutshell, it went as well as something like this could go. I could tell they were very nervous when they got there but I just kind of backed into a corner a bit and let them be parents for the time that they could. They brought gifts for the boys and they played and I talked to them about their developement. I am so glad I brought the camera for them as they didnt bring one. I think they really appreciated it and they used it right up. I also took pictures for the boys with my camera. I have to admit that I would get the heebie jeebies a bit when they were saying come give mama some sugar. yuck but I know that I needed to let go of my selfishness and realize that they do love these children and this is the last time they will be seeing them for a long time. The hardest part was when we had to go, I let them take the kids and put them in their seats and kind of stayed back with the worker. I hugged the birthfather and told him that I was so glad to have met him and then I hugged birth mom and told her that I was sorry for her pain and we were both crying and it was so so very sad. I can not possibly fathom the pain that these two people are feeling. I have never felt that they were bad people, sometimes people make bad choices, sometimes people are just not capable. I think it meant a lot to them that I told them I would talk to the boys about them and tell the boys that they loved them. Gosh, its very hard to relate the feelings and emotions surrounding something like this. This is not something that makes anyone feel relieved or better-its a sad sad experience as far as I am concerned. As far as the boys-I am so stinkin pround of my 3 1/2 year old. He played and acted like a great kid-he didnt act standoffish ( I could tell he couldnt remember them) or say anything that would hurt their feelings. He is great. The baby was a bit shy but once I got out his ball and gave it to the birthfather to play with him-he was soon laughing and having fun. I think it was great for the dad to have that experience also. Anyhoo, I think that is all I can write for now. I am feeling very drained and tired. I thank you for your good thoughts today and I wish you all well wherever you are in your journeys.
thanks,
Kathy
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