[August 2003]

1. I am 40 and the other moms are not
2. I have an adopted child, the other do not
3. My daughter is light brown and I am ghost white

We have been attending morning playgroups and it just seems like this is not working out. We have tried 3 now and I am just about to give up.

I keep trying and now I want to quit going. The first group we left because 2 of the 8 ladies were having issues with my daughter not being white. When I was sitting there and 2 moms did not know she was mine they has and a short and not so nice conversation about her. I got up walked over got my daughter and left.

Then next group the ladies just kind of ignored me after the day they discussed the births of thier kids. When it was my turn and told them about how we adopted her, well it made them uncomfortable and the next week I was not included in the chatter while the kids played. That was the last week there.

Now, the last chance, last playgroup in the area these moms are all 20 something and just keep taking about stuff I just don't get anymore. They make me feel old. My daughter does not seem to enjoy this group very much, just kind of seems bored with this group. She is 17 months and most of this groups kids are 4 or more months older.

I am just feeling so old and I am starting to worry if adopting her was right for us to do. Did we miss the boat. Will we ever fit someplace?

Just so sad about this right now....I just feel like her grandma rather than her mom.