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Thanks!!
Yes you've hiton one side of my dilema very well and i am greatful for your opinion.
We are stationed at the Little Rock AFB in Arkansas. So it sounds like we really aren't that far apart. We spent some time at Sheppard Air Force base before coming here.
After writing my last e-mail...I've been thinking even more about it. I kinda was coming to the conclusion that we may ask for the girl to be moved and just take in 1 baby under 1 at a time. But even with just that idea...(we all) will become attatched to that child as well. We came into fostering with the same idea you did. With the hope that we could adopt either a sibling group of up to 3 kids....that were under the age of 5 or at leastone child. Well we've got exactly what we wanted 2 girls and 1 boy. All from different homes...but our family does feel complete... anything over 3...we would seriously have to re-think and really pray about to see if we are meant to have more. Here lies my dilema. If we do take in babies under 1..(my mind is always on the...what if...what if..they will be ours) so we get more attatched to them and then when the time does come where they may be available for adoption...we have put ourselves in another difficult position.....deciding wether to adopt or not.
My mind tells me....it's time to stop....time to enjoy the blessings we do have, enjoy life, enjoy my kids. But my heart is still nagging at me...saying..."these kids need you...they need a loving home....this is your calling in life (kinda feeling).
I feel like i won't be able to stop until we move to another station. Where i don't know all the DHS employees...where everyone I know won't constantly be asking me when we are getting more kids...or if we are adopting anymore. Ifeellike the decision to stop fostering is goingto be a life changing one, and if i remain here....iwon't be able to stick to my decision. The first time someone calls me up with a baby or young child...my heart will bleed for them and i will say yes.....then....iwillbe back in the same boat...asking myself....why am I still doing this....why am I making my life so much more stressful and hectic...why? because of all the joy and love you feel when you care for these children....when they look up at you...and know that even though there life is turned upside down...somone still loves them and cares about them....and will be there for them evey second of every day. Urgg... now I'm talking myelf back into the idea of continuing fostering. It's this vicious cycle we have been on for the last couple months.
Thanks again for all your advice and comments...it helps me put things in perspective. Or at least....helps me realize my main objective my family...has to come first.
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