[Rathien]

Here is a short version of my situation.... well.. maybe...

I was adopted at birth, my adoptive mother allready had a son that was hers by blood, I guess in the beginning she may have loved me I can not really say.

Later in life through some troubleing teen years i suppose i became depressed and what not, i was "hard to deal with" so she sent me to boarding school.

I failed out of there it was the only way not to be sent back. In any case returning home yet again. I began to act out cutting my arms and things like that of which i do not do anymore i was 15 or so at the time , she sent me to the psych hospital at that point. 2 years she made me stay there.

i turned 16 in there i was almost 18 when i got out, although it helpped me finish school, it sucked .

I got married not long after i got out, divorced married again 3 kids in total .

my mother told me she wished she had never "bought me" and some other really nasty things, Is it this way when you do not turn out the way they expect you to, that since you are not blood they can dismiss you.

no matter what i have done, she never approves she is a wealthy woman and would not give me a dime to save my life. i was in a coma for three weeks i woke up and all she could say to me is that i messed her business deal...

i died three time was on full life support... now tell me are you not supposed to say I LOVE YOU!!! thank god your okay??? after leaveing the hospital, she would not take me home she sent me to the YWCA, she wanted nothing to do with me once again.

to this day even though i myself am doing extreamly well for myself and have a rewarding life, shewont give me one glance.

my brother sexually abused me when iw as a kid when i told her when i was 14 she said "no not MY son" and that means just what??

anyway, I am trying to find a closure to all of this, it pains me to think of not having any family of which i dont. I search in vain for a birth family that i pretty much feel that i will never find, as most of us can not afford the money that is involved in it.

it is just frustrating how life turns out.

now that i have ranted what i have not even really ranted to my fiancee about, thanks for listening


Jena