Quote:
Jensboys
The reality is that your daugther DOES have a brother. Calling him "someone special" will diminish that relationship to your daughter. I KNOW how hard that is in the beginning when you want your other daughter and your new daughter to feel like sisters. But it DOES get easier - and this is the reality of your daughter's life -she has brothers and sisters she doesnt live with. I think thats ok to share 
I promise, it will all feel more comfortable given enough time.
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I also let my foster children talk about their 5 brothers and sisters openly (as I allow them to talk about their mother openly since they remember her) since it's a fact that they have them. Saying, "It's too private to talk about." just makes people imagine the worst. It's just human nature. If people ask me why they were removed I just say because their mother was unable to parent. No one has asked for more about the mom. If they ask them about their brothers and sisters I feel it's affirming and "normal" for them to talk about them. I don't want my children to feel unduly differnt or like something about them is secret or something they have to hide. My children also have monthly visits with their brothers and sisters and they talk about what they do at the visits, where they go and the presents they get from their siblings.