[Howdy]

When my second fdaughter would mention her sister to people, if they then made a comment that required a response (e.g., "you have another daughter? what grade is she in?"), I would just say (with honesty but obvious not the whole story): "Her sister lives with her father in another state" and no one ever asked any prying questions, they always just said 'oh' and moved on to some other subject.

My first foster daughter was more of a problem because she went around announcing to all and sundry that she had 4 sisters and 4 brothers. Which was not even true. But since she also was not at all bashful at telling people she was a foster child, and appeared to relish any opportunity to explain that children become foster children when their parents are bad and the police come break down the door and yell at everyone, I never really had to make any comments to any questions.

Sibling (3 girls and a boy, all in separate placements) visits were not a problem for any of the girls, but the fmom of their brother didn't like to bring him to visits because he would misbehave afterwards (but he was happy during the visit). I think that was because he was too young (3 yrs) to verbalize his feelings, and maybe because he was FAE. There was definitely some teasing, roughhousing, and insult-trading among the girls (7, 11, 13 yrs), but it was (in my opinion) just normal sibling interaction.

My fd was sad to be separated from her sibs, so it was nice to have visits, and I enjoyed her sisters. They were all very nice kids, though one was considered 'unadoptable' due to bad behaviors (no one told me what) and had to live in a residential place instead of with a f-family, and the eldest had acted as the mom to the two younger children so probably could have been called parentified. She was a very nice girl and tho it is too bad for her to have lost out on getting to be a child herself, it was a great thing for the young siblings that their older sister took care of them.