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Abby-
I don't want to sound negative but I am concerned with some things you have said about these parents. The fact is that in adoption (especially within a family) there is a real concern abut making sure that the potential birthparents realize that while monetary situations may change adoption is forever. The fact that they will keep the child if you don't adopt makes me suspect that they really don't understand that even a family adoption is still an adoption. It means giving up parental rights and watching another person raise your child. Do you think they are really ready for that and all of the emotions that it involves? Or do they think that because you are family it will be the best of both worlds- they can still sort of help raise the child but don't have the responsibilities involved?
My husband and I turned down his cousin who was pregnant when she asked us to adopt her child. The more we talked the more clear it became that she was not prepared for what the reality of the situation meant. She wasn't prepared for us to name the child or for us to decide what school she went to (she wanted us to get approval from her first). She expected that she would have visitation in her home every birthday and Christmas. And when we told her that we may have to move for hubby's job she said that it was okay if we could move her too. After talking I think what she really wanted was to have someone adopt HER and the child so they could stay together. We couldn't do that so we did hook her up with a social worker who helped get her in some government programs.
Before you get much further the 4 of you sit down and talk about the details. Figure out if this is going to really work. If they are not prepared to let you be the parents then believe me... you don't want to do this. If this goes south you will not only have to face your sibling but also your parents and every other relative who will pick a side in the battle.
I'm not saying it can't work. There are lots of times when it does. But it just means being very open and honest and making sure each person is going into it with the same expectations.
Good luck.
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