[sfbaymom2000]

Leena,

That must be really tough. You know what you can handle and what you can not. Don't feel pressured into something or feel guilty for not doing it, if it is not right for your family.

I am very concerned about sibling visits. At first, I thought it would be good for her because I have read so much about it being improtant to adoptees to know someone else in the world who "looks like them" or "has the same blood". Now I am very concerned because of people's experiences with sibling visits that I have read on this board. The one sib M talks about is the reason (his behaviors) that he and she disrupted from their prior fost/adopt placement. The behavior alone is serious enough to cause concern that a visit with him could be traumatic for her.

Another sibling apparently has RAD, and another is "prentified". My husband wants to fight the visits with everything we can, but I don't know if there is much we can do. I believe there is a court order requiring the visits, but they are on hold due to the disrupted placement last month.

I am documenting all M's behaviors and issues, in case any of that can be used to determine if visits will be good for her or not (by her therapist and/or the SW's and the court).