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Jenna - I cant begin to make sense of it, but I just wanted to offer you my support. I think it will just take time, to reintegrate who you thought you were with who you really are - and how you thought people perceived you, with how they really do. You ARE munchkins mother (one of, anyway) - and that WILL integrate into your sense of self, and your sense of self esteem.
Shame is an emotion we let others place on us. You need to get yourself to the place where you can step away from the attack of shame. It will come - you have come so far.
You continue to be in my prayers.
Jen
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Jensboys - Mom of 4 Boys (2 adopted, 2 biological)  Reunited Sister
Fostering Miss Tiny and Miss Curious - Two Months and 13 months when placed May, 2009
Blogging about reunion with our 14 year old, Not reuniting with our 13 year old, transracial parenting, adoption and life as a minority family in a rural community. And oh yeah, now I have cancer.
'Oh, the audacity of authenticity. You’re going to confuse, piss-off and terrify lots of people – including yourself. You're going to pray it ends, then pray it never ends.' -- Brené Brown |