[Dmommab]

My brother married a woman with a small child (approx 16 months). They were not going to tell him that my brother was not his birth father. I was so shocked when I heard this, especially since my brother is adopted himself. I tried to tell them that this would not be a good thing to do but they would not listen to me. I told them that I would not tell Jamie (their son) unless he asked me but that if he ever came right out & asked me I WOULD NOT lie to him. They were not happy. After several years (almost 8) of trying to convince them they were not doing the right thing - and in the meantime my brother adopted Jamie - they decided to tell him. Well, it's a good thing they did because this past year (he is 17 now) he accidentally? met his birth father. Just so happens he lives next door to one of Jamie's good friends & he took Jamie over there to play darts & they started talking & the guy came right out & asked Jamie what his mom's name was & then proceeded to tell him he was his birth father. Not appropriate for him to do that like that either but that's just my opinion. Anyways, the moral of the story is if they had "lied" to him all those years he would have been very upset with them & rightfully so. Please encourage them to tell the child he/she is adopted from infancy as it will truly be better in the long run.