Lainie,
Sorry to hear of your turmoil and I hope that peace finds you all soon.
It's not considered rude, in fact it's gracious to offer to return. The gifts are actually for you to help you as a parent, not just for the child. They're similar to bridal shower gifts. If your fiancee' ran off with someone else, no one would expect you to send the shower gifts off to her, right?
Since this could be awkward for your F & F, you might ask them if they'd rather you return the gift or donate it, just because some might find it harder to 'take the gift back' than to have you give it to a charity.
Just a thought.
Regina
__________________
Thoughts become Words. Words become Actions. Actions become Character. Character is Everything.
"It will all be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end." - My friend Amy
"As God is my witness," Mr. Carlson insists, "I thought turkeys could fly"
Philly Area AParents Meetup!
http://adoption.meetup.com/117/