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The judge was wrong to say something like that. Your daughter will never forget nor should she. Her history is part of her and will always be a part of her. In the same way, her birthmom is a part of her and will always be.
Realize, your daugher isn't mad at you. She is grieving. She has to be allowed to grieve and then move on. She is grieving what every person is entitled to. We are entitled to a birthmom who loves us.
As hard as it is, you can almost be relieved that your daughter is vocalziing her grief. She is using you as a sounding board because you are safe. I know thats hard.
I agree with Missy's response. When my daughter says I am not her mom, I come back with "I'm not your first mom, but I am your forever mom."
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