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I want to agree with tobeafamily. You child isn't rejecting you (although it feels that way) but trying to explain her feelings of sadness that she isn't able to be with her first mother. Not because she doesn't love you but beacuase she is feeling sad about the end of a relationship and scared that since this happened once it could happen again. When she says Mommy M is her mother explain, "She is, she's your __________(birthmother, first mother, biological mother, or whatever term you want to use) and I'm your ________( again whatever term you are using like forever mommy)." This may lead to a discussion about the different types of families and how they are formed.
I also want to support the idea of open adoption in your case. Your daughter clearly has memories of her birthmother and openess will help her fill in the blanks about that relationship. Children need to be told the truth about things because they tend to fill in blanks by blaming it on themselves. If she doesn't know why Mommy M isn't able to raise her (at an age appropriate level) she will fill it in with thoughts that maybe she was a bad girl or unloveable. I am not an adoptee, and hopefully some will come into this thread and talk about their own feelings, but I am a child of divorce and I really took all the responsibility onto myself. It's a terrible feeling but only honesty can correct it.
Good luck and I hope you all had a great Christmas as a family.
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