[mom2GRLC]

Our little girl is now legally free for adoption as of today...christmas day...and we will be going to court very soon to make things final. We are adopting through fostercare...and we have talked with the bmom about keeping in contact with some visits and picturtes etc. But we never went into great deal of how often or boundaries or that sort of thing.

Our little girl is almost 3. She was talking about her bmom non stop the last 2 days. She has had a very confusing last 6 months. Back in September we prepared her to go home to her bmom...packed all her stuff up with her and everything...things didn't work out and the bmom decided to sign over her rights...then the bdad signed over his rights. We've tried to tell her that things had changed and she wasn't going to live with momma M. That she was going to be ours and we were going to adopt her. We've had her almost 2 years in our home so she knows us as Mom & Dad...but she was also told by momma M....during weekend visits that that was her home and she was her mommy. So things have been very confusing for her.

Anyways, the last couple days as we are getting ready for christmas, and also excited that this is our first real christmas as a family with all of our 3 adopted or soon to be adopted children...things were supposed to be about us and our new family.

The last two days...our little girl has been constantly talking about her momma M and how she is going to her house. I kept trying to tell her that mommma M still loves her but now she will be in our family forever and she isn't going to her house anymore. She likes to argue with me and be difficult and choose this subject to arguse about....When I would say...I'm your mommy...she would say...no momma M is my mommy. I know part of her is just a little confused, but my main problem with it was that she was just trying to be difficult and disagree with everything I said.

I know it shouldn't hurt my feelings but it does. She has always felt like my baby and I have been her mommy for almost 2 years now....it has only really been a 2 month period this year where she has either went to momma M's house for a day visit of for a weekend visit...and that stoped at the end of September and momma M has only seen her once since then...and had one visit where we waited an hour for her and she didn't show up...but she has talked to her on the phone twice since Sept.

How can I deal with my feeling of jealousy...so I can keep an semi-open relationship between momma M and our little girl. When she was acting like that..these last two days...it made me think of what the judge said "You can try and keep an open adoption with her mother....but she is young enough where she could just forget about this whole mess and live a normal life...usually people start up trying to keep some openness but things always get in the way and it doesn't usually work."

We kinda jumped into the idea of keeping things kinda open without really thinking of what that means...we never promised anything and never really set any real idea of what kind of openness we want.

What are your thoughts? What would you suggest?