I can relate to all you are feeling. Addy is 2 months old. Hers was a domestic adoption and she is biracial. We have four biological children - all of us are caucasian. I have lots of African American friends and I was a sickle cell nurse for years so worked almost exclusively in the AA community. I am comfortable as are my kids with a baby that looks different than they do but still worry about how Addy might perceive herself and the reactions of others.
I have 2 books - both look really good and I have read some of each - neither cover to cover since the demands of 5 kids prevent that somewhat :-). I think it is all about how you approach the situation and the "community" you create for your family with your new member. There are many people on these boards with more experience than I - and they will tell you it isn't a walk in the park but more than worth it at the end of the day.
Best of Luck - Here's the books:
"Inside Transracial Adoption" by Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall
"Cross-Cultural Adoption" by Amy Coughlin and Caryn Abramowitz.
Martha
