[janetleigh78]

This guy uses his attitude to confuse his victims. He acts like he can have what he want and that he won't feel guilty as if he deserves whatever he takes. He also fed you the most ridiculous line for a threat. Why would it matter if he told them you'd had sex if you just went home and said that you'd been raped? The whole check thing is classic. He can't buy his way out of his mistakes.

Hindsight is 20/20 but you've still got a lot more dealing with this guy in your future and so does your sister, neice and the entire rest of your family. He will always be your baby's bfather and that gives him rights (unfortunately).

I hope that you can find a way that you can be totally honest with your family. You and the baby can use all the love and support they can get. And you know your family will eventually find out so keeping secrets will just make it worse. Dishonesty will hurt everyone involved. I'm not suggesting a rash outburst and a Springer-style expose`. Talk to someone like they suggested and maybe even have their assistance in talking to your family.

As far as your doubts about the rape. Don't analyze it so much that you doubt yourself. You either said No or you didn't and you either felt raped at the time or you didn't. Its that simple. If you were drinking or even if you did anything before the sex act that would be considered romantic or sexual with him, after you say "No" its rape. On the other hand, if something happened between the two of you and you're merely ashamed of an indiscretion... thats a horse of a different color... time heals all wounds, honesty is the best policy, yadda yadda. In either situation, you won't be able to live with the repercussions of dishonesty.