Is attachment therapy illegal in your state? My kids recieved attachment therapy well before finalization paid for by the state.
If her diagnosis is RAD, they cannot refuse her treatment simply because she is a foster child. Raising a child with RAD is expensive. Will you be able to afford it on your own after finalization? It needs to be included in her subsidy agreement.
There is nothing you can do for her until she has the proper therapy. All suggestions for dealing with this problem are theraputic. She needs a safe way to release her anger and fear so she can allow you to love her. This cannot be done with anything other then attachment therapy.
Focus on bonding things and things that encourage touch and eye contact. Fight for the right to get appropriate treatment for this child.
www.radzebra.org www.attachment.org