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I'm sorry to hear about your nephew's situation
Knightowl,
I'm so sorry to hear about the situation your mother and step-dad have put your nephew into. Have your parents considered a counselor/mediator? Someone trained to help them understand the harm they are doing to your nephew, and how to heal what's already been done and to avoid inflicting further pain on him? Setting up some kind of intervention is not unheard of... Maybe if they understood what this turmoil is doing to him, they might put aside their issues and figure out how to put his needs first.
If you are looking at trying to adopt him, I'd suggest talking to a counselor who deals in adoption issues to seek advice about how it would be to have yet another custody suit going on (will it add to the turmoil? I really don't know...)
In the meantime, I suggest that if you live near him you might take him on weekends for some low-stress fun. You can call him during the week to reassure him that he's loved... And you can continue to seek advice from this site and from some professionals. Good luck with this!
tdh
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