[Volfe]

i understand ya. I too wanted Michelle's planned set up where the kids would have unending visits, but mine would taper off after the first couple years. But now I'm afraid to back off at all for fear that it will close on their end...

But i wanted to share how I contact Nathan...
Pretty much I do not contact them very often. The past 6 yrs has been mostly contact every couple years. That might sound bad...but it just kind of happened. The trick is that I can call if I want to call and they can also... That in itself is reassurance.

As it is I owe him pics and I haven't gotten any to send - I'm camera shy.
This month...I am getting all my pics for the kids in place!

But I guess that just having the reassurance of openness... having it be passive... is enough for me. I think he is ok with it although we don't talk adoption. He talks about his life today with us. His mom said he doesn't like to talk on the phone but he talked to us for an hour, she would peek out at him (she told me later - too cute).

Does open adoption need to be constantly active to be beneficial? Can't it be passive too?

I do understand where you're coming from...
Who wants to live in pain constantly?

Maia
PS We need to draw together, I'm having the same problems... not creating... understand totally.