[HappyMomAnna]

We have no regrets--a lot of tears for the hurt our child expereinced before we were able to love her..... I remember the strange look in her big brown eyes the first time I told her "I love you" I still wonder what I actually saw inside of her eyes....

I am so thankful that there is an age difference between the older children I messed up with enough that adding a child with hurt didn't mess up anymore.....

Our children can be sexually abused in any situation--on any day and right under the most over protective parents noses.... But if we have been there loving them all their lives we can love them through it much more differently then we are able to love a child we didn't meet until three weeks before her 5th birthday....

As much and as comepletely as I love her---it takes a very long time for her to believe me.... and WHAT DOES LOVE really mean to her anyway???? We already figured out that her expression of love to daddy is NOT what we would have hoped for in our beautiful little girl.... Before we can LOVE her we have to show her what LOVE is supposed to be.....and that is the long road....

I would do this all again.... I would adopt these children... I am sure that the efforts we make to help her will make her life better. There are families who are not able to protect the other children--there are families that have had their guts ripped out after trying for a few years to love a child out of thier own pain....and there are families who have had to say good bye to a child for that childs own best interest.... This is not the same as an infant adoption it is not the same as raising a child from their earliest memories... This is a special kind of parenting for Special children....These children NEED to be the MOST important in the family and that is very hard to do when there are younger ones....