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Yes I have regrets. I'm in the process of trying to put it all in my life's experiences.
I don't regret loving the fc that I was in the process of adopting. I don't regret the disruption, it was necessary. I do regret that I kept trying to love the child's hurts away. The child needs/ed much more than our family could have provided. Listen to the person that said that if you can't provide the safety of stopping the child from hurting others, you can't provide the security the child needs to trust you. My fc never trusted me. I don't think the child will ever trust anyone.
Some children are so hurt. The only way they can express their pain is to hurt other weaker, younger people and animals.
Some children are better off in other homes. Homes where they can be the only children and have a parent home with them 24/7 until they are healed. Some children aren't able to live in families at all.
One caution. Don't always take what the worker tells you as gospet. Some aren't truthful. Some don't know all the facts. Some will do whatever it takes to get a child placed in a family. There are too many people here who are going through disruptions,b/c their child just wasn't ready for their family. Some of those families had other children in the home who have been hurt by all this. All of them are going through the pain of losing the children they love.
It's been a long time since our disruption. I've learned a lot, by talking to people on forums such as this one and by joining an adoption/foster parent support group thought our agency. Love is not always enough. If it was, all of our children would be healed and there would be no child waiting for his forever family.
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