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My head is swimming!!
Hi, My husband and I have been talking about adoption for a little over a year now. We were married Aug. 16/03 & were told by my doctor that September that there was no chance I could have children. I knew this was a possibility but had been hopeful that he would suggest fertility treatments... he didn't think they would work. We grieved for several months if that makes sense to anyone, grieved for the children I would never give birth to.
We started the process for domestic adoption early this year but were told we should wait because we hadn't been married a full year yet and I was having surgery this September. This was so devastating to us, it really felt like we'd been told we'd never have children of any kind.
My husband and I turned our focus to our marriage and our service to God, but over the last month or so we find that things keep pulling us back to adoption, the urge to have a family is so strong in us that we can't ignore it.
My husband is studying to be a preacher, he'll be done next summer. We have so many decisions in front of us.. staying here in Canada for work and starting the adoption process once he has a job, taking a job in the states and hopefully still be able to adopt while there, or doing mission work and putting off adoption for now.. or adopting while in the mission field.
Can you see why my head is swimming?
We want to be parents so badly, I ache when I hold a baby or see a happy family with their small children.
I know God has a plan for us and it will be revealed. I guess I'm just reaching out right now for people who are in the same boat. People here know that we have to adopt to have a family.. but it's so hard for them to truly understand the pain that pierces my heart when a baby smiles at me or stares into my eyes while I hold them, reaches up for me, laughs....
This is my first post here, I'm sorry it's so long but I needed to get some things out I guess.
In Him,
Michelle
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