[Livingmydream]

I never met bmom until the hospital (that was for 10 minutes)and we only spoke once before on the phone. All other communication came via the agency. I really never had sleepless nights over it, I worried, but not crazy. Since she refused to name anyone else but him, when it was not him, I knew it would be an unknown. Even though it was not my choice, I knew I that we would live with it. Both of our adoptions are completely closed with no contact. I did send agency pics of daughter at 3/6/9/ and 1 year per agency protocol, but they are still in the file. As far as son, bmom never even saw him.
I came to the realization that in adoption, we can only control our part of it, and respect the wishes of all the other parties involved. I have pictures of daughters bmom that she gave to us for her when she is older. and a great detailed history with sons. Sons and I actually talked everyday up until birth. I know, retrospectively, it sounds so wierd, but she called the shots, and I listened.