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Dad - I know I belong....as much as I belong anywhere I guess, ha ha. It's just a side that a lot of us have who hurt for others going through so much more and in the back of your mind you think "Maybe I oughta keep quiet because I certainly don't have their problems so who am I to talk?" It's a reason why we stopped going to the adoption support group in our area. We would look at each other and think "Thank God we don't have these issues now let's get the heck outta here!"
Never thought about the 4 kids thing to be honest, at least not in terms of "I couldn't do that." However, I will say the reason why I have 4 children is because I do NOT want 5. (old Bill Cosby line)
BBeagle - while Doctor & Cobb bring up important points regarding the group home, I believe you can find some answers there. If she's attached to anyone at all, if she goes with the flow if the structure is changed, and if she has any sustained peer relationships. How she ever trusted anyone, sought out comfort, and if she doesn, is there one specific person she goes to at these times? And some answers might be there that you don't necessarily want, but continue to read between the lines and check out EVERYTHING.
And I will agree that RAD is not an automatic diagnosis just because the child may have some of the symptoms. All kids have some of these symptoms at times, and some kids that have these symptoms certainly have attachment issues but are not necessarily RAD.
As for the "I told you so", well, I've not gotten that from my family at all. I have gotten the "I don't understand why you make S ask only you for things she wants" or "Why can't J have as much food as he wants?" Meaning, I get questioned on a lot of things I do or don't do with the kids. A few of my family members read some suggested books I gave them and they now understand.
Crick
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