[Jackiejdajda]

ingodshands wrote..This is one of the reasons I think behind her wanting to forget, not wanting contact.

I understand that one hundred percent.. There are times I just can not handle the emotions.. Can't go there.. Don't want to..

Hopefully the day will come when you feel you are able to call your son.

I don't think I can take any more hurt with this.. Or maybe I am taking a break from the hurt or very intense emotions..

Booker this is what happens.. One (folks in reunion) does one thing and then the other does another.. I used to be able to say.. He did not call me.. He did not return my email.. so its okay to push it all away again.

I know I was terribly disappointed the first year.. I used to lay awake at nite thinking of babysitting the grandbabies.. Thinking I could fly out there and have the kids for a week while he went off with his wife..Dream on sweet fool..
He came to my city and I knew he was coming on a business trip and he did not call for a week.. I knew he was in my city and he did not call.
My goodness that hurt..

But I had to learn how to put myself in his shoes.. How to understand where he was coming from.. He may not have been able to handel the emotions..(and the same goes in your situation ingodshands) I don't know the man..
That's the hard part in this.. Checking out the other person and try and see them in their map of the world.. try and sort what may be going on in their head (s)..

But I don't think I can do that right now.. My heart wants a time out.
My reunion is going incredibly slow.. And now I admit that this is how I want it..

Jackie