[Booker]

Collette and Jackie, thank you for your understanding and encouraging replies. I really appreciate your perspectives and it's great to be able to talk about this with someone who can understand and doesn't have a stake in this situation.
I thought that giving up a baby was behind me, it had happened, I moved on. But suddenly it's as though a huge gapping hole appeared in my life that I had ignored and failed to deal with. My son, the adult, truly doesn't need to deal with or even know about all these messy feelings. It's just some growing I need to do that I had failed to do before.
So it's probably best that we have limited contact because I do feel so intense about this right now. And it's my problem. Thank you for allowing me to vent and understanding what I am going through.
Julie