Hi
I know it is hard, but try not to jump to any negative conclusions. Your son is being protective over his children, probably until he is SURE that things between you both is going to work out. It is one thing leaving himself open to the possibility of being hurt, but putting his children in that position probably scares him, and he at this time, is being cautious.
It is perfectly natural to be cautious at this early stage, along with every other emotion you can possibly think of! Just try to take things slowly, one step at a time. Maybe write him, and tell him you understand if he needs time for it all to sink in, to digest, and that you will be patient, and that you will be there for him when he is ready.
Just because he is not open to involving his children at this time, does not mean he wont in the future.
When me and my birthmother were in reunion, (kind of), because I never actually saw her, just spoke a few times and a couple of letters......over about 6 years!! Yes, that long, with so little contact.
I was like you, I wanted to jump straight in there! She didnt. Even after six years. Since about 1998/99, she has decided she wants no contact. So you see, even after six years, she still was not ready, and I am not sure if she ever will be.
The point I am trying to make, is it can take months, a year, or years for your son to get to the same place in reunion that you are at. Gosh, you should have been my birthmother!! We both are the type of person to jump in head first!
Your son is dangling his feet in the water at the moment, checking the temperature, while you are swimming.....can you see what I mean?
Be patient, let him test the water slowly, hopefully before too long he will be swimming alongside you
Good luck, keep us updated
Collette