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We have had our 10 year old daughter for a year. We are supposed to finalize in Feb or March. From my experience, I think it's important to remember all children are different. I went through all the training, plus addtional parenting classes to keep my foster license current. I think that older kids are really painted w/ a broad brush. When it comes to adopting an older child, we are given the worst case senario for their background, behavior, development, and future. But in our case, it just didn't fit. My daughter was fortunate that she was never abused, but she was neglected and parentified. She had a pretty rough first 9 yrs, w/ her bi-polar mom, and she does miss her. But her behavior and development are right on track. She is very bonded w/ our family-she even told me and her therapist that she feels like I'm her "real" mom. Her therapist even thinks she is doing really well and thinks we can just help w/ adjusting to adolescence and transitioning to middle school, which as we know is pretty brutal for every kid. Time will tell, but I am very optomistic about her future. She should be able to accomplish anything! I guess my advise would be to keep your eyes open for signs of trouble, use your parental instincts and hope for the best! Good luck to you and your family.
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