[dpaige]

I found out last week that the birthmom that we have been matched with since July (due in Dec.), took off and went to a crack house and has not surfaced since! Not only did she put the poor little baby boy she is carrying in danger, but she left her 2 year old son! I am devastated and at this point I just want to know that the police have found her and the baby is going to be ok.

My husband and I are certain that she has been lying to us and doing drugs throughout her pregnancy. She has had us SO fooled. I even met her and the social worker from the agency who is also shocked. On top of this she has cashed our last check for her expenses to use for drugs and left her boyfriend and son with no money to pay their rent or any expenses.

I am crushed! How do you pick yourself up and start over after this? Everything seemed to be going perfectly!

On top of everything, my husband and I are on two different pages. He already has three children from his previous marriage and if we did not continue with our adoption plan he would be fine. As a matter of fact, he is ready to give up now, saying that he feels that after all that we have been through, losing three babies late in pregnancy and finding out that I can never carry a child, and than this, he feels that this is our fate and we should start to heal from here and accept the good in our lives now.

How can I do that when I ache to be a mother! I'm just hurting so badly and I know so many of you have gone through this. When will I be able to go forward and how do I make everything ok with my husband so he is comfortable starting over???

Thanks for listening,
Deb