I was just at a search engine, looking for material on adoptees
who were adopted by grandparents. I read part of a post and
thought to myself that I could have written that. I linked on to
it and here I am and in fact, I did write that. That is too funny.
Jack Nicholson was an adoptee and didn't find out until his mother had passed away. Does he have issues. I bet he has
at least some issues. I think that all adoptees do, don't matter
if it is a relative adoption or stranger adoption.
I have issues and I was adopted by my grandparents. I never
felt the love that I needed. I don't think that they ever wanted me, rather that it was there Christian duty to keep me in the family. They feared that I would do what my mother did and get pregnent. I did. I was 16 and unable to care for him like I wanted him to be cared for, to have a real family.
He is loved by his family, when I had first contact with him he
told me I was not intruding, but a dream come true. There is
a bond between mother and child. When a mother loses her child in any way including adoption, she has a BIG HOLE in her heart.
So much shame and grief. (this is true)
My son understands that I was only 16, but he still has issues. Nothing is perfect. He lives in
Washington State and I live in California. He loves to come here and spend time with me, he does not want me to go where he
lives. WHY? My only guess is that he fears hurting his mother
that raised him. I abide by his wishes.
The bond is there, normally between mother and child. Except
for my mother who is my legal sister. She is still in that birth
mother closet of fear and shame. I am still hidden by all but
birth family. It hurts so, to not be acknowledged by your own
mother.
For grandparents who adopoted, I hope you still have room in
your heart for your daughters and there huge loss. No matter
what the circumstances, it is a loss to them.
Any who responded that they are also adopted by grandparents
or other family members, please check out my group.
A FAMILY MATTER
www.groups.yahoo.com/group/afamilymatter
We are all looking for support.
or my private email
onecjs1@sbcglobal.net
HUGS TO ALL
Lady-C