|
my 2 cents
Hi there,
I felt the need to post a reply here as I am a 29 yr old adoptee who was 'taken' rather than 'given up'. I was taken by the Illinois Dept. of Children and Family Services and they did not share why I was 'taken' from my bparents. My aparents told me when I was very young, but they have not been open to discussion about it and refused to help me with my search. For that I rebelled and had some animosity towards them, but I was never upset with them in the thought that they 'stole' me. I have always been clear on the fact that I was 'taken' by DCFS, not my aparents. They were just a couple who wanted a child they couldn't have on their own, and I happened to be available. I think as long as you are open to discuss the adoption and as honest as you possibly can be, your child will appreciate what you've done for them and how you've helped them have a good life. Although to some degree it hurts me to know my bparents were not able to take care of me for whatever reason that caused me to be taken, I do know that I was given a good life and that it may not have been that way had I been left with my bparents. I was raised in Chicago, and though I've seen alot of good in the city, I've also seen alot of children born in poverty or living with parents who would rather spend the few bucks they have on drugs/alcohol instead of diapers... and though I want to think that wasn't the road with my bparents, no one really knows... and I'm glad I've had a better upbringing, and now one day when I find my bparents maybe we'll have a healthier relationship than we would have back then?? Either way, I have never blamed my aparents for my being 'taken'... not because they told me it wasn't their doing, but more simply, it just never even crossed my mind! I don't know if this helps at all... but just be honest with your child about anything you may know and they will appreciate you for it so much more than some aparents think.
thanks,
Christa
born 11/7/1975
Adopted 12/31/1975 from Elgin, IL DCFS
|