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Rich,
You wondered what adoptive parents were told at the time of the adoption. I adopted one daughter 29 years ago, one daughter 26 years ago, one daughter 7 years ago and one daughter 5 years ago. The two younger were adopted at ages 11 and 12. The older two were infants. All are closed adoptions.
I was told the same for all four. They are your girls now. The birthparents will not know where they are. I was told they may want to search for information but they are your children. At least with the last two adoptions I was informed a little better about attachment issues and they may never bond. I didn't know about the hole in their heart that I will never be able to fill. My second daughter is the only child that is comfortable with who she is and does not want to search at this time. She is happy and content with us and feels blessed.
I wish I would have been more prepared and had more support from the agencies. They place children with you and then walk away.
Thankfully I found support on these boards from others who have experienced their child moving back with her birthparents.
I had to find my own support.
__________________
smiles are on
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