[love4]

I also understand the need to search. I would too. It was scary for me in the beginning but I wanted to know. I have 3 other daughters and I would want to know if they ever search. I would rather struggle with my feelings knowing than find out later and feel so deceived. I want to be allowed to have my feelings also. Together we can work things out. Each of us having respect for the other through our fears and stress of reunion. I want to share that with my daughters. If they choose differently then I would work at standing back and waiting for the time we could share.
Lynn and I were not adoptive mom's who said no to our daughter's search. We supported. We just didn't expect to be abandoned.
My initial reaction was fear. thought I would be left behind and my fears came true. But I have three younger daughters and I would give them the same respect if they wanted to seach. I would support them afraid. I don't want it to happen again but if it does I will once again work through my grief.