[Volfe]

Who can know how they will feel?

True, no one can without having felt it before. I knew what to expect and how I would feel after placing...
However, everyone can learn from other people experiences. Learning how other birthmoms felt after placing, like Christine's wanting visits now... will help this potential birth mother understand the emotions she will face.

Tell me something, once the child is placed, if the birth mother wants visits then, if she realizes she REALLY wanted that... How would you feel. You can project yourself into that situation...
Frankly, you quite obviously will be obliviously happy since you have the baby...

I have suggested ways to learn how each person REALLY feels so that this decision is based on unbiased choices and feelings so that the end result is truly as beautiful as it can be. Trust me, when everyone is on the same page, it is marvelous. The problems come when they aren't.

We cannot educate those who don't wish to learn.
Otherwise, I would have succeeded long ago with my daughter's amom. However, I have made great friends here and learned a lot from adoptive mothers, birth parents (newly relinquished/ in adoption/ in reunion) and adoptees... including my own 13 yr old.
Learning from peoples experiences is one of the best ways.

Please consider all that is said objectively. Perhaps you and she should read the Open Adoption Experience. It is very informative for both of you.

Maia