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When we first started on our adoption path, i was VERY reluctant about open adoption..... After meeting and talking with people involved in open adoptions, it started to sound like a good idea....and after meeting my sons birthmom, I wouldnt have it any other way. I didnt change my mind in order to "get the baby" I changed my mind because i saw how wonderful his birthfamily is. Actually, THEY were the ones who were surprised at how open we were willing to be with them. It's ok for you to re-evaluate and come to the conclusion that you would now be ok with visits...perhaps now that you KNOW the pbmom, you are more comfortable....but that is something you have to look into your heart to figure out. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by discussing this and being honest......
Do you know anyone who is actively involved in an open adoption? You may want to ask your agency for some names....I know that really helped me with my worries. I know there are lots of us on here, but its so different to talk and see in person.
I hope you find your way through this,
Leigh
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