We didn't enlist a birthmother's help in writing our letter, although if I'd known who or how to ask, we certainly would have. I would definitely have wanted to hear the guidance and insight. Like Brandy mentioned, it would have been really helpful to us to illuminate important parts that might be missing.
I would be reticent, though, to provide too much editing guidance. It ultimately needs to be in the voices of the p-aparents so that there isn't a huge disconnect between thewritten word and the folks in person. That might just lead to disappointments for all involved.
Maybe even the things that Brandy found offensive need to be heard. If a couple has the perspective that material goods are what is central in their lives, then maybe a p-birthparent needs to see that up front. Who knows, perhaps those are values that are shared, but if its edited out the truth, positive or negative, is not there to see.
So, I guess my view is, yes, we would've have accepted all possible help in preventing us from looking like complete dodos, but I'm questioning whether I should be careful of what I wished for
