[lisa in venice]

I have to agree that this is a bad match and a real recipe for disaster. I don't know what kind of adoption professional you are working with but I would suggest that both you and the expectant mom find someone who can educatae you about the levels of openness so that each of you can find a level that is right for you. I personally thibnk open adoptions are great (AND NO they don't confuse the kids) but everyone has to be onboard with it and if any party is doing something they are uncomfortable with it is not going to work. I think it may be time to find a different situation. I also think it is VERY important to do some reading on how to talk to children about adoption. The waiting until they can understant really gives my pause.

"Raising Adopted Kids"
"Children of Open Adoption"

are two good references

lisa