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open adoption
I would never,ever think of lying to this birthmom.We both want a baby very,very much! However, being truthful is extremely important in this whole adoption.I would never want this birthmom to feel she is going to receive visits then with hold the child.As far as we knew for the last couple of months this subject was already talked about and decided.We all agreed on pictures and an occasional phone call from me.I told the birthmom we would totally have no problem with that.However, just yesterday the words open adoption came up..and i asked her what she meant by open adoption.I think she wants us to feel included in her family and wants visits.I will talk to her again,but i will let her know as a couple hoping to adopt..we very,very much want to adopt this baby,but being truthful we will let her know that for us open adoption is not what we want.I really thought this was understood with a conversation we had previously.I think her and the birthfather need to do what they both feel comfortable with.We are all in this together and as much as we want a baby I could never lie to any birthmom.I am hopeful that maybe she will understand how we feel if we tell her again,but it scares me how previously she told me it would be ok for pictures and an occasional phone call and now she changed her mind.The only reason I posted on this board was for some insight.Definitely not for some way to talk her into placement! I have been honost from the beginning and intend to stay honost through this whole adoption if this is meant for us.
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