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Love
Ok Candie,can I unload? ( You changed your cartoon,cute!)
I can not understand an adoptee who feels nothing towards the birth family. My ENTIRE life was spent thinking and dreaming of my bmom. Every Birthday I had a new dream of how she would show up at my door.
As I got older,in my 20's, I changed my "dream". She went from the perfect woman who surley gave me up because she was too young to a toothless heroin addict! Please know that this was how I was able to deal with the fact that she never looked for me or came to me. It was so much easier for me to consider her a looser. That way when I found her,if she rejected me, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.
Then this July I found her. She passed away a year after giving birth and placing me (I have posted the story.....)
So I went 3 weeks ago to visit my "new" half sister. I don't really know how to explain the feelings because really they don't make sense at all. We are so alike and still very different and tell eachother we love eachother. One day she said to me " How can I love you like this when we just met and I never even knew about you?" My response was " I have no idea, we'll just deal with it".
What a horriable thing that we have to deal with the fact that we love eachother as sisters should!!! (Sarcasim!!)
I sooooo wish I could have met my mom. And FYI, she had all her teeth!! Actually she was beautiful! I will meet her when god wants me to. For now, she has 2 daughters who adore eachother and she can watch us catch up with the 32 years we missed out on.
My point? Not sure except if you were my bmom, I'd open the door and invite you in. There is a bond, I am unsure why some don't have it but my gut tells me, after reading many of your posts along the way, that you will find her and you will be just fine!
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