Please please please go back and read Brandy's post. After you read it print it out so you can read it again. Please consider as hard as it might be walking away now. If you'll just read your own post you'll see that the stage is set for disaster. First of all with all due respect she isn't a birthmother, shes simply a mother making an adoption plan. If there hasn't been an agreement made there should be no adoption. AMom2Two posted:
Maybe you can consider having some visits for the first year, while the child is young enough not to really understand. Visits that cease after the first year or before the child is "old enough to understand" are referred to as suddenly closed and are tragic and unfair both to the birthfamily and the child. You can look at any thread here where B-moms are posting and find at least one who has experienced having an open adoption become closed and its horrible. Why 2nd guess that maybe this will be enough for her after she has clearly said she wants to visit, period? Mom2 if visits the first year give her comfort what happens when that door closes after the child becomes older and she no longer knows and sees that he/she is comfortable, knows where its living and that its well? See this isn't a situation that she will likely forget; she'll have the same concerns forever. Also you say you feel her husbands input is bad for her; my question is why? Either he is her childs dad or at the very least her system of support and IMO has every right to be as involved in this planning process as KellyStacy's husband.
Kelly, you came here seeking what? Advice?... if so please read Brandy's. Tara