kellystacy-
my heart goes out to you. i can't imagine how hard it is for you to realize that this might not be the right match for you. if you do not feel comfortable with the level of openness the birthmom is suggesting, then don't do it. trying to convince yourself that this openness will work for you, when you know in your heart it will not, is not fair to anyone involved.
i am a product of a closed adoption, and while there are pros and cons to both open and closed, you need to do what feels right. don't force yourself into an open adoption if it doesn't feel right.
i hope you will soon havea baby to love!
