[BrandyHagz]

Honestly, and lets not sugar coat things…it sounds like a bad match to me.

Openness should be one of the main match criteria…if the birthmother wants more openness than you do, then your obligated to walk away or educate yourselves on the facts of Open Adoption.

I’m not sure what you hoped for by posting this…were you hoping for some way to talk her into placement anyway?

Regarding the discloser of adoption to children…I posted a thread about this a couple of days ago… When is the best time to reveal to a child that he/she is adopted? and one of my favorite answers, posted by DianeS I think you should "reveal" to a child that he is adopted at the same time that you "reveal" to the child his own gender, age, name, fact that he is a "son", has a "mother", a "father", at least one "grandparent", maybe a "brother" or "sister", etc.

We explain all those things to a child before he could possibly understand them. A child too young to understand reproduction can't possibly understand the significance of a sibling or grandparent any easier than the significance of a birth parent. Why should one be explained immediately but the other not? That choice never made sense to me, either.